Crimes take place every day around the world and reading the newspaper every morning might just make you scared or depressed. However, once in a blue moon, you might come across a report about a crime that is so crazy that you have a hard time believing it is true. Perpetrated by some of the world’s dumbest criminals, these crazy crimes are more humorous than they are scary. From a burglar who came back to ask the victim out on a date to a robber who threatened to file a complaint when he could not rob a bank, here 10 of the craziest theft stories that you will ever come across.

1 In 2018, the world’s most expensive bottle of vodka was stolen from a bar in Copenhagen. The bottle, made of silver and gold, had a diamond-encrusted cap and was worth $1.3 million. It was later found at a construction site. Apparently, the thief only drank the vodka and left the empty bottle behind.

In 2018, someone stole a bottle of vodka from a bar in Copenhagen and left the empty, unbroken bottle at a nearby construction site. Ironically, what the thief did not know, or perhaps, cared too little to notice, was that the bottle was made of 6.6 pounds of gold and silver, and it had a diamond-encrusted cap. Considered as the world’s most expensive vodka bottle, the Russo-Baltique vodka is worth around $1.3 million!

The bottle was uninsured and it was loaned to the bar by a Russian businessman. After recovering the bottle, the bar owner said that he would fill up the bottle with the same vodka that had previously been in the bottle and put it back on the display. There were 1,200 other vodka bottles at the bar, but the thief went for the most expensive one only to take just the vodka. (1, 2)

2 Drunk tourists broke into Australian Sea World, stole a penguin, and released it into a canal later.

In 2012, two Welsh tourists, 21-year-old Rhys Owen Jones, and 20-year-old Keri Mules, broke into Sea World in Gold Coast, Australia, swam with the dolphins, and let off a fire extinguisher inside a shark enclosure. They also stole a seven-year-old fairy penguin named Dirk from the aquarium in their drunken spree.

The next day, the two, seriously hung-over men woke up in their flat with little memory of the night before and were surprised to find a penguin roaming about inside. They tried to take care of Dirk by giving him food and putting him in the shower. They later released him into a canal, not realizing that the small bird was at risk of falling prey to a bull shark. Thankfully, some locals spotted them and called the police.

The men were caught and fined $1,000 each after they pleaded guilty to trespassing along with stealing and unlawfully keeping a protected animal. The magistrate told them that they were lucky to have not fallen into the polar bear enclosure or the shark tank or they could have ended up in the morgue.

Their lawyer said that the two men deeply regretted their actions and were highly embarrassed by the publicity of the case. (1, 2)

3 After robbing a house, a man came back to the crime scene two hours later to ask the victim out on a date. The woman had a relative call 911 and kept the robber engaged in conversation until the police arrived and arrested him in front of the house. 

In 2009, three men robbed a couple in Ohio. About two hours later, one of the robbers, 20-year-old Stephfon Bennett, came back to the scene of the crime to ask one of the victims out on a date.

The woman recognized the man as one of the robbers and had a relative call 911. She kept him engaged in conversation until the police arrived and arrested him at the spot. The man was arraigned on a charge of aggravated robbery and was being held in jail on a $100,000 bail.

It is hard to say whether it was bravado or pure stupidity, but the “lovestruck” robber got what he deserved! (1, 2)

4 A robber threatened to file a complaint after finding no cash at the bank. 

In 2008, a 48-year-old man named Joseph Goetz attempted to rob a bank in Pennsylvania but was sorely disappointed to find no cash. When the man entered the bank, the tellers were waiting for their cash drawers to be filled. After he entered and demanded money, one of the tellers fainted, and the other two showed him the empty cash boxes.

Enraged, the man fled the scene, but before leaving, he threatened to file an official complaint with the bank managers about the empty cash boxes. A customer, who was using the drive-thru services at the time, saw the incident and called the police. The robber was arrested 10 blocks away from the bank on suspicion of attempting to commit a robbery. He was held in prison with a $25,000 bail. (1, 2)

5 A thief broke into a car intending to steal the expensive satellite navigation system inside. Funny enough, he had his name and birth date tattooed on his neck, and the camera inside the car captured it, helping the police to nab him.

Seems like 2008 was a year of bad crimes. Here’s another one from that year.

A 21-year-old man named Aaron Evans broke into a car and stole the expensive sat-nav device. Unfortunately for him, he had failed to notice that the car had a secret camera that captured his every move, and the footage revealed vital information. The man had “Evans 19.9.87,” his name and birth date, boldly tattooed on his neck. So, the police did not even have to lift a finger to try and identify him.

Evans, a persistent criminal who had been in and out of prison, was caught by the authorities and jailed for seven months after he pleaded guilty to theft. (1, 2)